Suburban mom with 3 children, was married to an alcoholic abuser, mentally and on occasion physically. Was trying so very hard to be “perfect”. To make everyone happy and everything run like a well oiled machine. After 41 years of it I had a few drinks at my sisters home and on my way home I was charged with a DUI. 0.08 your straight and I was 0.09 so I became a filthy drunk driver.
What that charge did to me and to my family has destroyed us forever. I was an upstanding citizen, a pillar of society, volunteer, never missed Mass, was kind and helpful to all who needed me and I went from that to the social pariah, ostracized from a society who has all drunk and drove home at some point in their lives, but somehow has the power to judge me.
I lost my license for 1 year, had to have alcolock installed for another year, have a criminal record now so cannot travel outside Canada forever, never ever will have a job, cannot go to school as they all do criminal background checks and the worst of all of this is what it has done to my children.
I could not take them to school, birthday parties, soccer, hockey, sea cadets, play dates, sleepovers, Drs appt., grocery shopping, absolutely nothing. Their world came crashing down and it was all my fault. My husband was so malicious and self righteous he stole what was left of me. The same man who drank a six pack on his way to work was telling the neighbors and family members and publicly shaming and humiliating me. While my children had to lie to everyone about why their mother couldn’t drive anymore.
There are absolutely no support groups for dui convicts who have had their lives ruined forever for a victimless and technically intellectual “crime”. The only thing I ever found was law firms encouraging the accused to fight the charges and in the meantime rely on family and friends for rides.
I have no family nor do I have friends. What friend or family member is going to be your Uber driver for a year without ruining the relationship with pure resentment.
Driving is a RIGHT not a PRIVILEGE. One cannot simply survive in a first world country without a vehicle. For society to hobble and jail a whole family FOREVER is cruel and unusual punishment for a victimless crime. If the sheeples don’t stand up and say NO THIS IS MORALLY WRONG…..then society is in big trouble.
The cruel an unusual punishment creates a good human being into a criminal. The justice system has now boxed you in so there is no other option but to perform criminal acts to support your family. Then there’s government assistance, Social housing as no one will rent or give a mortgage to a criminal now. Hell you can’t even have life insurance ever again because of that heinous crime against humanity you’ve committed. And the cycle continues forever because of the shame, humiliation, isolation, lack of basic human rights, and what is considered “Normal” necessities for a child to grow into a well rounded member of society. So this massive money making machine that a DUI revenue is bringing to the government is in reality creating millions of criminals on government assistance to which there is no hope and no way out.
The loss of autonomy, the loss of social interaction, the ostracization, the absolute soul wrenching pain, pride thieves that have been given the power to do this on the side of the road with no judge nor jury is martial law. If you request a trial and with a DUI your chances if winning are nil the courts punish you even harder for having the audacity to waste the courts time and money on a no good drunk like you.
You are reduced to a 12 year old begging your parents to take you to the mall. If I didn’t have an autistic son I would have killed myself a long time ago. The self loathing, the isolation, the lack of self respect and esteem and the worst of all is that there is absolutely no hope for any kind of future makes me crawl in my own skin and has turned me into a mentally ill non functioning waste of oxygen. I’ve become a ride whore and that is the worst feeling in the world.